I have been going back and forth, no idea if someone even reads this.
Still on the battle to get the body I can feel comfortable in.
I’m at the moment weighing from 57/ 58 kg.
A bit sligtly under 60 kg (130 pounds)
I remember that the last time I did the ABC Diet I got from 65 - 66 to 60.
So maybe in this way I reach the 55.
I’m sick of feeling like this.
I was planning on doing some kind of workout, like Insanity, but I know it will make me hungry… and then I wont lose any weight… :(
Could be anyone, however, I would prefer someone close to my stats.
CW: 132 Lbs
UGW: 115-120 Lbs
And I guess no one even missed me. Right?
It’s been horrible. I have lost all control. I went back to 66kg. 66!
Now I have lost it actually in a healthy way and I am back on 60… 0r 132 lbs
When I saw that number again, I wanted to be even lighter. I AM TOO FAT STILL!
Every single day I stand in front of the mirror for hours. Looking at my stomach, looking at the flab, I can barely stand myself when I sit or are in bed because I feel my stomach hanging.
No one gets that I don’t care about people thinking I am pretty, I DON’T FEEL PRETTY!
And how sad is to be 26 years old and having this eating disorder, I bet all the teenagers must laugh at this old motherfucker trying to be skinny. I am starting to get too old anyway.
I should kill myself
I hope that if someone out there cares, that you are ok <3